Stress

Stress Management

by Marianne Cook, LICSW, Clinician, Harvard University Mental Health Service

Stress is the feeling we experience when our bodies respond to difficult situations—whether that means running from a grizzly bear or studying for a final exam. A series of physical changes occur (e.g. increased heart and breathing rate) to prepare our bodies to deal with the pressure. In mild amounts, stress can actually be helpful, keeping us alert and attentive. Unfortunately, many children and adolescents experience too much ongoing stress, which can wear the body down and lead to a number of health problems, including weakened immune system, headaches and stomachaches, allergies, insomnia, and mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression.

Stress overload can result from enduring any kind of pressure for a long time without adequate support. For children and adolescents, some common sources of stress include: unsafe environments, family conflicts, problems with peers or boyfriends/girlfriends, trouble with schoolwork, overscheduling, and the expectation that they achieve perfection. If they are unable to manage these pressures, they sometimes turn to negative behaviors such as substance abuse, self-injury, or binge eating in order to cope.

What can parents do to help their children manage stress? Below are some suggestions:

• Monitor stress levels. If your child starts to show any health problems or concerning behaviors, find out if she is feeling stressed out. If so, you can help her strategize about managing stress or take her to a counselor or advisor if needed.
• Encourage realistic expectations. With college applications becoming increasingly competitive, children may feel that they need to participate in every activity at the highest level. Let them know that nobody is perfect and that you care about them no matter what. Make sure there are enough breaks in the week for real relaxation; any child who is busy 24/7 is bound to feel overloaded.
• Promote healthy activities. Exercise, creativity, and companionship can all be terrific stress-busters. Encourage your child to take part in something he or she is passionate about, whether soccer, poetry, or skateboarding. Allow your child time to spend with friends who are supportive. Also, teach your child healthy eating and sleeping habits; the body can’t manage stress effectively if it doesn’t have enough energy.
• Teach and model relaxation. Relaxation is the body’s natural antidote to stress. Help your child learn to breathe deeply and unclench muscles. Yoga and meditation are excellent relaxation tools. Moreover, model relaxation in yourself. If you are always frantic and engaging in negative coping behaviors, then you will show your child that this is the normal way to handle stress.
• Support a positive outlook. Teach your child to replace negative self-talk (“I’ll never make the team”) with positive self-talk (“If I keep practicing and show the coach I’m dedicated, maybe he’ll give me a shot”). Help your child develop problem-solving skills, such as breaking down large tasks into smaller ones, so that she doesn’t feel overwhelmed by every problem. Most importantly, give plenty of encouragement so that your child feels confident to meet life’s challenges!

The information in the article above was drawn from the following sources:

• American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (2005). Helping teenagers with stress.
• KidsHealth (2008). Childhood stress.
• TeensHealth (2008). Stress.

Additional Sources of Information

• Stress, from the American Psychological Association.
• Helping teenagers with stress, from the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (2005).
• Resilience for teens, from the American Psychological Association.
• TeensHealth (2008). Stress.
• KidsHealth (2008). Childhood stress.