Tips and Tactics about Bullying for Parents

by Suzanne Glick Gilfix and Dave Shannon, The Anti-Bullying Solution (TABS)

• Know that whatever we do together, we may lessen, but likely will not eliminate, all bullying and teasing
• Know that the more you do as a concerned parent, the more you can prevent escalation of teasing and bullying behavior before your child is emotionally or physically harmed or harms another
• Volunteer in your child’s classroom
• Talk to your child regularly (meals, car rides, couch time) about what happened in their school day
• Ask questions of your child that show your interest and concern about what might seem mundane or ordinary
• Be a role model for your child. Show kids how they can get what they want without teasing, bullying or demeaning someone
• Help your child understand how bullying hurts other people even if they see it as “just teasing”
• Teach your child how to respond to incidents of bullying; decide if you need to report directly to the child’s teacher or school principal if your child has been emotionally or physically harmed at school
• Do not assume that an incident, however, small, was a one-time occurrence. Ask questions that show you want to understand how the conflict began, even if your child may have instigated
• Continue to follow up even after one incident with the school principal and/or guidance counselor or psychologist, to prevent any escalation
• Talk to your child about feeling left out especially if you witness conduct even among siblings that show exclusion. Explain how that exclusion can lead to isolation, anger and even violence
• Ask about a child’s reluctance to go to school or after-school activity. Don’t just assume your child is tired. Find out what the roots of the hesitation are.
• Get your child’s teachers’ e-mail addresses and correspond with them to find out if there are trouble spots in the class room that you may unaware of
• Find out how many monitors there are on the playground or at lunch, where the majority of bullying conduct may occur. The more adults present, the less likely a child will act out. Volunteer to change the ratio
• Understand how tolerance, diversity and multiculturalism play into issues of bullying and find books to read together with your child that promote appreciation for, and understanding of different cultures

© 2005 The Anti-Bullying Solution
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